Mum of two boys with autism.

[crofty]

Hi everyone, I'm Tracy a 37 year old mum of two boys with autism. I live in Castleford West Yorkshire. I work part time as a greeting card designer which helps keep me sane and the rest of the time I look after my boys, with the help of my hubby and his parents. My 7 yr old Zak has aspergers and my 5 yr old Kai has severe autism with additional complex care needs. I'm looking for friendship and support, particularly from people with children at the more severe end of the spectrum.
x

[cyberpedz]

[sign]Welcome to the site[/sign]

[annie]

Hi Tracy im annie im from oxford and have one 13 yr old son with austium ocd and he understands about the same level as a 3-4 year old. My daughter is, dont like to use the word normal she is main stream and is almost 3 and has already taking over the level of understanding my son has. I know how hard it is coping my one child with problems i give you get respect with coping with 2. I am looking forward to talking to you and other parents on here this is the first time i have ever done this.
Take care

[crofty]

Hi Annie, nice to hear from you, websites like this are great for finding support from people who usually understand more what you're going through. How are things with your 13yr old, does he have any frustrations and problems you'd like to share?

[annie]

This site is great, its nice to know other parents out there when you feel low you can come on here to talk to others.
My boy Arron-jay is 13 on the 16 may he has many obsessions and fustrations when things change or dont go his way he bites his hands and headbutts anything from windows to doors. He never bites or headbutts people which i am lucky with, If i ask him to do put his shoes away he goes mad headbutting biting shouting if anyone else asked him the same thing he would just do it sometimes i do feel like he dont like me at times.
He is almost 6 feet tall and very strong he has broken 4 bones of mine in the last 3 years but none of the so called professions want to know or help me in ways to handle him, which sometimes leaves me very frusted.

[louisereecejones]

Hi I also have two boys with asd My oldest jamie is 8 and is more high functioning and my 6 year old ben is classic autism with behavioural problems and go's to a special school.
Things in our house can get very heated and with all the best stratagies in the world in can be very hard to understand what go's on in there little heads.
Having children with autism is an experience that i never imagined I would have x

[annie]

It was strange for me to have a child with special needs i worked with special needs kids and aduilts before my son aj was born i worked at springfield school left there to have aj then went back 3 years later as a parent something i never thought i would do,
It made it slightly easier for me for him to go to special needs school as i knew everyone all the teachers, the helpers, the taxi drivers, i knew he would be looked after. It is the outside of school help i am disapointed in it took me years to get his autism proply diagnosed because people didnt seem to wanna help has anyone else had that experience??

[Anthony]

annie Wrote:This site is great, its nice to know other parents out there when you feel low you can come on here to talk to others.
My boy Arron-jay is 13 on the 16 may he has many obsessions and fustrations when things change or dont go his way he bites his hands and headbutts anything from windows to doors. He never bites or headbutts people which i am lucky with, If i ask him to do put his shoes away he goes mad headbutting biting shouting if anyone else asked him the same thing he would just do it sometimes i do feel like he dont like me at times.
He is almost 6 feet tall and very strong he has broken 4 bones of mine in the last 3 years but none of the so called professions want to know or help me in ways to handle him, which sometimes leaves me very frusted.

Hello Annie, I was just reading your post above and it was like I was reading about my brother! My brother, Matthew is 12 and is very fustrated at the moment, we think that it is because he is in too much mainstream lessons at school. One of his helpers said off the record that he also agreed that he was in too much mainstream but isn't in the position to say anything, which is very sad, because he can see Matthew's difficulties but doesn't have the power to help.

He lets his fustration out also by biting, hitting and when he was younger banged his head on the floor which was a major worry for us. Now, he chews absolutley everything, he has destroyed two remotes for the TV. He has a chewwy man now which he carries around with him and chews, that too is almost destroyed though!

My mum also has had very bad experiences with the proffesionals. One of the major ones being that they promise the earth and never do any of what they say they will. Is this also the case for you? I am not saying that all proffessionals are like this, but the ones that we have had dealings with are.

I hope that you get the help that you need and everything settles down and he gets into a routine quickly.

Lots of love,

Anthony xx

[annie]

Hi anthony,
I have had almost 10 year battle with professionals to get aj's autism diganosed i have only had the diganoses the last year and had it confirmed only last month.
Aj has profound learning problems so he has always been in a special needs school.
Does your brother have any speech?, if his speech is limited then he should be in a special needs school is there a local special school in your area for secondary school age at 12 years he will be secondary school maybe push really hard to get him out of mainstream (Which i know with professionals is easier said then done)
Unfortunalty everything is a hugh fight and it shouldnt be that way but dont give up if your family feels your brother will benifit from special school go as far as you can to fight for it.
I really hope you get the help for your brother, he and your family deserve.
Good luck let me know how you get on.
Annie

[Anthony]

Hello again Annie, My brother does have speech yes, this is why he is in alot of mainstream because they think he can cope. They don't realise that he keeps it in all day and when he gets home he just explodes. He is in the special needs department at school which is a very good team. However, I think he should be in mainstream for some subjects, with a helper. There are other subjects, like french, spanish which he isn't very good at and we feel that if he spends more time in the 'unit' learning social skills and talking about things and letting his stress out, it will be of more use. He sees an OT every week and has a helper with him all the time in mainstream lessons.

Everything does seem to be a huge fight with professionals, and it is very sad that it is that way. I wish there was something we could do to change it!

Anthony