HELP!! My autistic son is stealing!!!

[lap 68]

Please, is there anyone with any advice for what to do with my son's behaviour?
My autistic son is stealing and I am at a complete loss as to what to do next.
This is not something new but is getting worse, he has taken things for about the last 4 or 5 years, by things I mean stuff from school, wooden blocks ,paper clips, rubbers, pencils and the like. I have always told him this is wrong and returned the items pdq. The taking then started to be things like bits of Lego from other peoples houses which again were always returned to the owner and the same you must not do this conversations would take place. Then it started to be money mostly £1 coins which again were returned and the you must not do this it is stealing and people who steal go to prison conversation would take place. School have tried social stories with little sucess and I have tried everything I can think of from telling him to screaming at him to no avail. I have been to the mental health team and asked for advice and got now where fast. I have even asked the police to show him( whilst on a cubs visit to a local police station) what happens to boys who steal. It is now at crisis point .... he stole £30 from a friend on Friday!!!! He seems to know it is wrong as it is always done secretly and with out detection and it is done because he wants to buy Lego and as odd as this sounds it is not done in a malicious way but... obviously it cannot go on. Can some one please help with some ideas or somewhere to go for some help.

[cyberpedz]

Um i am not sure if this would be any help at all and you may have already tried it but how about some sort of token economy thing.

He obviously likes money and likes to have it to get things with so instead of him getting it by stealing maybe a token economy would be good. It would obviously have to suit your situation and his understanding but something like a chart where he gets a tick each day maybe for being sensible and not stealing. Each tick could be worth $x £x amount so at the end of the week you add up the ticks and he gets x amount of $ or £ then you need to make a point of taking him on a personal shop so he can spend it on what he wants with in reason of course.

If however he steals then he does not get a tick for that day and he has to return the stolen item (in person if possible) so in theory he should learn that if he does not steal he will get his weekly treat but if he does steal he gets nothing.

This is very rough and obviously would need to be tailored to you and your son but this sort of thing works very well for many for lots of different things, behaviors, obsessions etc.....


I hope this helps

[lap 68]

Thank you for your reply, I have printed out some money from a web site and will try a chart with a picture of the desired Lego toy at the end and he will earn 'money' each day he doesn't steal, school will also talk to him again and do a bag check each day. Will keep you posted.

[cyberpedz]

Ok hope you find something that works ;-)

[sara sylvara]

Boy! Ever since my son was 2 we had shown him toys or what ever he happened to be intererested in that the item stays it lives here that next time we come over you can see it again.And he has ajusted to that idea.he has had things stolen from him.Very hard to explain wht he dosnt have it any more in his mind its suppose to be there in his room where it always has been.He gets real upset and screams to the point we have had to replace a item that he no longer has and sinse hes not verbale enough to say hey thats mine give it back.He dosnt understand why its gone.I wouldnt know what to do in your case.very hard to explain it to your son why its wrong and at the same time expain to the people that it belonged to that he dosnt realise what he did was wrong he just knows he wants the item and takes it with out thinking.I often wonder if children with autism can think of consenqunses of thir actions do they even have a thought proscess?Or is it all learned behavior of repetive suggestions that they learn from.I will keep an eye to your responses you get from people.

[Thajocoth]

A reprimand, no matter how loud, is not a consequence. It's a social reaction, which is less likely to have much effect. The same goes for pretty much any form of punishment that doesn't last longer than a few minutes. I remember when I was very little, before my mother realized it was wrong to do, she tried spanking. I was a toddler at the time. No matter how loud I screamed from it, I immediately followed up with "Didn't hurt". Growing up, any time she raised her voice, I immediately stopped listening, assuming a person can't both be correct and loud. But simply explaining things to me logically always worked (unless I disagreed with the logic, which was rare).

The fake money is a good form of positive reinforcement. Rewarding good behavior is one of the best ways to ensure it continues. When I my mother ran a day care in our house eventually, she had a sticker system. Each kid had a piece of construction paper with their name on it and they got to put a sticker on it any time they helped out or behaved or for any other good reason. The kids wound up asking to help out... Asking to set the table, to clean up the blocks, ect... Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

If this still winds up being an issue, however, something that should certainly work would be to remove his Legos for a day after he's stolen something, explaining that it's a result of his actions. Yes, the first few times, he's likely to simply cry, but as it's his favorite toy and he really doesn't want to lose it, it should make him less likely to continue stealing. This tends to be more effective than time out is, especially for people on the autism-spectrum. I know that I, personally, would still be able to find a wall interesting. (Though, at 26, I don't think I'll be going to time out any time soon, but you probably get my point.)

These solutions should be applicable to any problematic behavior for any child. Naturally, this would be accompanied by explanation of why what he did is wrong, but it seems that you have no problems with that half of the equation.

[louisereecejones]

I have heard of using ping pong balls in a jar so it is something they can see building up i find charts endless and a boring my son earns pennys and he gets to see them building in the jar its very basic but by the sounds of it you need to take him back the basics x you have a very hard task ahead of you x good luck x

[tyger tyger]

i agree with the practice of removing his favorite toy in direct response to bad behavior .
its a very basic way to show cause and effect .
but stay strong and if you take them dont give in to crying or tantrums and give them back it will put you in a worse position than when you started .

the first time we tried this with our son he really kicked off but we held fast and now we have an easier time with him.
p.s when we tell him off vocally he thinks we look funny and laughs

[lap 68]

Hi,
Sorry haven't been in touch for ages life is manic all the time!!
With regard to the stealing.... SUCCESS! Used a reward system of cut out coins and basically paid him not to steal and it seems to have worked I can only think that theres been maybe one incident since. Thanks for all the advice.

[cyberpedz]

I am pleased to here it! i hope this continues to work well done.